Journey Center Blog

I haven’t written a post in a while. I figured it’s time again. Like the rest of you, I’ve had a busy summer- running around, taking vacations, visiting with friends and family, having barbecues, soaking up every possible moment of sunshine before the clouds and cold set back in. (I live in Seattle.) This has been a wonderful time of refreshment for my soul.

I have been experiencing God’s presence like the sun lately- a warm, relaxing, encouraging, peaceful presence deep in my soul. I’ve had a lot of changes in my life and heartaches over the last year (a lot of “rain”). But I find that no matter how cloudy it is on the inside, I can always return to God’s presence and find the peace and comfort and hope I need. When I feel like the storm will last forever, He is there reminding me of the internal sunshine and warmth He brings. His love and presence is like a bright, shining light radiating out of my heart and reminding me of all the joys and blessings in my life.

As the fall approaches, I am thinking about how my routine will settle down a bit. I’m returning to school and starting to think through the activities I will participate in each week and how I’ll schedule my time. For those of you in Sonoma County, as you are planning your fall schedules, check out the Journey Center website. It has been recently updated with all the events for this Fall. Make plans now to take advantage of all those gatherings and events that allow you to slow down and return your focus to the presence of the Holy within you. Wish I could join you!

The first Friday of August, Dan and I offered an evening on poetry of the Christian mystics as our monthly Meeting the Mystics gathering. We focused on 4 aspects of the Christ-centered mystical path– nature mysticism, bridal/love mysticism, the journey of kenosis/emptying, and entering the Silence. Dan and I read most of the poems back and forth, so folks could hear them two different times, and in two different voices and styles– how often does that happen? So often we hear something once and then are dashing off to the next thing. We also decided to limit the number of poems so we could SAVOR them– also a great and rare pleasure. At one point I looked up and saw folks with their eyes closed, listening so deeply– no wonder a couple of people have asked us to do this again. Part of the pleasure for me, too, was having people come who don’t usually think of themselves as poetry lovers–and yet they could hear how each one of the writers had experienced God and then had– in words that are always limited and imperfect-attempted to share that experience with us–so that we,too, could enter into that moment when the Holy was a felt and experienced Presence-
I wanted to share a couple of the poems we read and invite all those of you who read our staff blogs to take a few moments, and read these slowly– maybe a couple of times — and enter into the God-blessed time these poet-mystics are describing- is there something that Spirit might be saying to you in this poems–perhaps something you are being asked to remember, or celebrate, or reflect upon, or pray over—-

The first is by R.S. Thomas, a Welsh Anglican priest who lived from 1913-2000. He was an amazing nature mystic-

The Moor
It was like a church to me.
I entered it on soft foot,
Breath held like a cap in the hand.
It was quiet.
What God was there made himself felt,
Not listened to, in clean colours,
That brought a moistening of the eye,
In movement of the wind over grass.

There were no prayers said. But stillness
Of the heart’s passions-that was praise
Enough; and the mind’s cessation
Of its kingdom. I walked on,
Simple and poor, while the air crumbled
And broke on me generously as bread.

This next one is by Carrol Houselander, who died in the 1950’s. It’s my personal favorite “emptying poem’.

Reeds of God

We are emptiness like the hollow in the reed,
the narrow riftless emptiness
which can have only one destiny:
to receive the piper’s breath and
to utter the song that is in the piper’s heart.

We are emptiness like the hollow in the cup,
shaped to receive water.
We are emptiness like that of a bird’s est.

The reed grows by the stream.
It is the simplest of things, but
it must be cut by a sharp knife,
hollowed out, stops put in it.
It must be shaped and pierced before
it can utter the shepherd’s song.
it is the narrowest emptiness in the world,
but the little reed utters God’s infinite music.

We are lifted up and carved out,
formed and shaped and filled with
all the music of the earth.

(I’m not going to comment on these poems–so you, if you want, can just be with your own experience without my interpretations interfering with your own response–but I will just say–WOW! WOW!:>)

Finally, a poem by contemporary poet, Episcopalian , Mary Oliver. She is usually in the nature section of mystical poetry, but Dan and I used this in the silence portion to lead people into a silent prayer time– you’ll hear why-

Praying

It doesn’t have to be
the blue iris, it could be
weeds in a vacant lot, or a few
small stones; just
pay attention, then patch

a few words together, and don’t try
to make them elaborate, this isn’t
a contest but the doorway

into thanks, and a silence in which
another voice may speak.

This month I am carrying a poetry journal with me– I am writing poems in response to whatever catches my attention– so far my dog, Molly, sneezing;my husband fast asleep in his chair when I got home late one night;a lady who loves Christ but can’t relate to Jesus; the 50th anniversary of To Kill a Mockingbird; pomegranate salad dressing; and that poor fig tree Jesus blasted– all of which brought me just a bit more deeply, and more humbly and with more of my body, and heart, and crazy over-active mind, into what in Christianity we call ‘the sacrament of the present moment’.
That to me is the gift of poetry– if I can enter so fully into another’s experience–and most especially if that experience is of God–than my own capacity of being more fully present is encouraged,expanded. I think the Holy Spirit inspires these poems–and speaks to us through them– as if the poets were the hollowed out reeds and the poems the Shepherd’s breath– that gives life.

I hope you enjoy these -

Ruah

My husband, John, and I recently spent some time on Lopez Island, off the coast of Washington State. We were there celebrating our 25^th anniversary and enjoying the beauty of the San Juan Islands and, especially, the peacefulness of this particular island.

There were many things about this experience that refreshed and inspired both of us. About the third day we were there, I began to realize that part of the delight for me was that there were so many parallels to what we’ve been called to be and to do at the Journey Center. It was as if I was experiencing the gifts that we offer to so many others here on 4^th street in Santa Rosa, CA!

The first thing that struck us was how everyone we encountered was so friendly and welcoming. Lopez is known as the Friendly Island because everywhere you go, people wave at you! Whether you are driving in your car, or hiking on a trail, or walking down the road…you can count on seeing that hand go up as you pass by. (It didn’t take long for us to also be among the “wavers”!) And what did that wave mean? The message was “I see you and I welcome you. You belong here!” It didn’t matter if you were a full-timer, weekender, or visitor. All are welcome on Lopez, and all have a place in the community. How like the Journey Center vision this is! Whoever you are, and wherever you are on your journey, you are welcome here…we love to hear your story and are privileged to know you!

Another part of the adventure for us was being able to eat food that was grown or raised right there on the Island. Local, sustainable, organic. Almost everything we needed was provided by local farmers, and we took great joy in shopping at the farmer’s market, visiting farmstands, and preparing our meals with what we found there. This reminds me of the important truth that all you need for your spiritual journey is within you and around you. God is present and all is provided here and now. You don’t have to travel afar or depend on someone or something far away. At the Journey Center, it is our joy to offer resources for your journey and safe spaces for you to drink of the Living Water and feast on the Bread of Life!

During our time on Lopez Island, we were captured by the beauty that was everywhere. We had the time to notice what was around us….ocean, clouds, eagles, otters, whales, other islands in the distance, the rolling farmlands, and the sheep and cows in the pastures. At the Journey Center, we are called to offer a place where you can step out of the busyness and take the time to notice the beauty that is all around you- attending to the beautiful presence of the Divine, noticing the movement of the Spirit within, seeing that Love shine through the eyes of those you gather with.

Finally, we discovered what people mean when they talk about being “on island time.” Rather than being driven by the demands of our schedules and commitments, there is something about stepping out of the rat race for periods of time to take deep breaths, relax, and just BE. We got up when we were done sleeping. We ate when we were hungry. We stayed up until we were sleepy. And as we listened to the silence, our spirits grew quieter and a sense of peace deepened in us. We invite you to think of the Journey Center as an “oasis”, perhaps an island where it is OK to stop and breathe. Many of the resources and gatherings we offer are designed to give you the opportunity to just BE.

This trip was special because it was important for us to celebrate this milestone in our marriage. But trips like this are not usually possible…either the time or the funds are often not available. However, I believe that the invitation to all of us is to find practices and places in our daily lives that make it possible for us to experience hospitality, a connection to our inner life and the spiritual resources that are available to us, an awareness of the beauty that is near, and opportunities to stop and breathe and relax and BE.

It is our prayer that the Journey Center might be ones of those places for you…

Little Summer Poem Touching the Subject of Faith by Mary Oliver

Every summer
I listen and look 
under the sun’s brass and even
into the moonlight, but I can’t hear

anything, I can’t see anything – 
not the pale roots digging down, nor the green stalks muscling up,
nor the leaves
deepening their damp pleats,

nor the tassels making,
nor the shucks, nor the cobs.
And still,
every day,

the leafy fields
grow taller and thicker – 
green gowns lofting up in the night,
showered with silk.

And so, every summer,
I fail as a witness, seeing nothing – 
I am deaf too
to the tick of the leaves,

the tapping of downwardness from the banyan feet – 
all of it happening
beyond any seeable proof, or hearable hum.

And, therefore, let the immeasurable come.

Let the unknowable touch the buckle of my spine.
Let the wind turn in the trees,
and the mystery hidden in the dirt

swing through the air.
How could I look at anything in this world
and tremble, and grip my hands over my heart?
What should I fear?

One morning
in the leafy green ocean
the honeycomb of the corn’s beautiful body
is sure to be there.

This past week I ate two ears of pure summer: golden corn-on-the-cob complete with melted butter and a touch of salt.  It was sooo good as everything is when in season.  The poet Mary Oliver is a midwesterner as am I.  We both love to walk and in walking, are immersed in the natural world and feel very comfortable there.  One might say we both possess the same indefatigable interest in all things created.  

Poetry can speak to our hearts in a way that normative speech cannot.  Prose is poignant and powerful and can aid the listener in experiencing a topic with a new perspective.  Dan Beach and Ruah Bull are Journey Center staff members with a fondness for poetry and their workshop is coming up on August 6 as part of the Meeting the Mystics series. For more information, see our website: http://www.journeycenter.org/hapMystics.php.

Some out in the sun. Some in the water. Some resting. Some playing. Some coming into the sanctuary and some returning to the open sea. The gift of being at the coast with very few other humans and being a part of the scene. Noticing what is going on and what is being left alone. Watching the pups watching their moms while they carefully watch the people. Looking at the tide coming back in again today. These Harbor Seals have found the officially designated Marine Mammal Preserve. Not like the one who had found a solitary place down the coast. This one had been found by the clean up crew of the air upon passing. All the others had found their way to the place humans have appointed a “no harassing the wild life zone.”
Where do we find these places for our kind?
It occurs to me that we have a place like this here on Fourth Street. A safe zone. A place where there are no harassing the humans. An invitational place where there is space to come and be. There is space to sit. Sometimes there is a spot of sun for a few minutes. Sometimes there is movement and play as there are times of rest and reflection. A “no harassing the human zone.”
Drawn back to the coast: Watching the waves, each with their own unique moment in time. We see from one point on land one perspective. Yet, there are countless moments in each splash of water. Divinity notices it all. The Creator watching the creation. A safe place.

Two years ago, on May 1^st, I walked up to the front door at 1601 Fourth Street in Santa Rosa and turned the key in the lock for the first time. I remember how it felt to open that door and walk into the beautiful, empty space that was to be the Journey Center’s home. Aware of all the miracles that happened to allow us the privilege of being there, I experienced a deep sense of peace and an eager anticipation as I stood on the threshold that day.

As we celebrate this two-year anniversary, we have been reflecting on all that has unfolded between that first day and today. We who serve at the Center and you who have come through the door to visit are all on unique spiritual journeys…AND we have had something in common. We have been the grateful recipients of what I will call “glimpses of the Holy”.

From the beginning, when the vision for the Journey Center was first given in 2003, we have known and been told that this is a pioneering work. For that reason, we didn’t really know what to expect when we opened the doors. All we knew was that God wanted to do something new and that we had been led by the Spirit to create this safe and welcoming place where all who are spiritually thirsty can find resources and support for their journey.

We wondered what would happen when people of differing spiritual traditions, political persuasions and opinions on a variety of issues would sit together in this special place, set aside for saying “yes” to the Divine invitation to drink together from the Living Water. As we look back, these first two years have been quite an adventure!

We have indeed had a glimpse of the Holy as we have discovered that our boxes cannot contain or limit God’s boundless love for each of us. There has been a profound experience of walls coming down, walls that we’ve built to keep God at a distance and walls that separate us from others. Instead of these walls, bridges are being built as we are nourished by Love and experience the gift of friendship and community with those we have thought so different from ourselves.

And we have come to realize even more clearly what the Journey Center is called to be in our community:

 The Journey Center is a place of love. We have encountered the living God, who is Love. We have experienced for ourselves that God is always present, working lovingly and patiently in unexpected ways to bring healing, connection, freedom and grace.

The Journey Center is a place for sharing and listening to stories. Each person who has come through the door has, in some way, been our teacher. As we listen to each other’s stories, we learn that the Spirit meets each person where they are on their journey, working creatively and uniquely to help them deepen their awareness of and openness to the Holy. We may have our differences, yes, but on a much deeper level we all share a common spiritual yearning to find our way home to our own true heart and the heart of the One who knows us and calls us by name.

The Journey Center is a place of transformation. There is something so simple and yet so powerful about being together in God’s loving presence and opening ourselves to the Spirit, the One who transforms us. The simple spiritual practices that we teach here, rooted in the Christian tradition and helpful to those from any tradition, help us with this being and opening.

In the first two years of this adventure we call the Journey Center, we have most definitely been grateful recipients of “glimpses of the Holy”. If you haven’t had a chance to visit us, in person or online, please consider doing so as we would love to be a blessing to you on your journey!

Last week I was having coffee with a good friend, who is a Buddhist. She was brought up Baptist, and left as a teenager as her thirst for deeper experience of ’something meaningful’ eluded her in the Christianity her family professed. We began to speak about lent,and shared stories about what we were both taught — laughing ruefully about the similarities between Southern Baprtist and Irish Catholic concepts of sin and repentance.  I was telling her how eye and heart-opening it was for me to discover that the real meaning of repent is to change focus/direction–to change the direction in which I am looking for happiness. That opened up a conversation about the Buddhist idea of detachment/non-attachment and the  Christian teachings about the false self and the ways in which this wounded part of us addictively searches for happiness/meaning/fullfilment. My friend said– isn’t there a story about that in scripture? So she took out her laptop, opened a Bible site (I didn’t know there was such a thing) and we found  The Rich Man story in Mark 10:21-21.

Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said,’You lack one thing; go, sell what you own, and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me.’ When he heard this, he was shocked, and went away grieving, for he had many possessions.

My friend and I sat and read this over and over–I think we were doing Lectio Divina in the coffee shop– and it brought tears to our eyes. For us, it made another connection between our spiritual paths–neither of us really knew before that this teaching was in Christian scripture–so this deepens and expands our own conversation. But what moved us both–was Jesus ‘compassion and love– so poignant as he looks at this man, understanding the goodness of his heart and his devotion–and how he was still captured by what he owned.  We were right there– feeling in our own bodies the shock of coming up against what we were attached to and unable to release. Part of what moved me so much was this man’s shock –and then grief. I get the feeling that he not only did not realize Jesus would ask him for this–but that he may have, in that moment, discovered something very painful about himself– that he was possessed by his possessions. I see him walking away, and nursing this new knowledge about himself in his heart–does he stay with it? Can Christ’s loving gaze help him to stay with this awareness, and perhaps lead to some healing/ Or in his pain does he shut down, and perhaps cling even tighter to what he discovers he believes he needs.

I notice that I pray for this man– 2,000 years ago–and so I pray for myself and all of us who want so much to repent–and who are still holding on for dear life to what prevents us from following our deepest heart’s desire. The love on Christ’s face accompanies me in that prayer– and so I hope, in this moment, that the transformation Christ promises can occur in me.  My Buddhist friend said that for her, she will incorporate that loving gaze into her own practice-.I like that– I see Jesus holding her in love as she practices meditation and blessing her too. Whatever our path and practice, may that gaze of Love tend us and accompany us and gently help to unravel that crack in our defended hearts when we are shocked and grieved into facing our own limitations. May we all discover that which truly brings happiness and fullness of life. I give thanks for lent and this time of learning what true repentance invites all of  us into.

I was recently listening to an old sermon by a previous pastor. He was addressing relationships between men and women and was talking about that often hated, misunderstood, mistreated, wrongly used, sometimes vile “s” word…the word that has made me angry and defensive and hurt and scared…

“Submit.” There I said it.

Don’t stop reading this blog. It’s not as vile as you might think.

I don’t know many people that like this word. But I think that’s because we don’t understand the meaning of it, especially as it involves relationships. And it’s been misused against women with the religious mandate for wives to submit to their husbands. I get a pit in my stomach when I hear this and want to argue that I’m every bit as capable of thinking and making decisions and doing things as a man is.

The problem with telling women to submit to their husbands is that people often leave off the part about men also submitting to their wives. If you continue reading the Bible passage where this is discussed, it equally addresses the man’s role in this act of submission. This kind of submission isn’t putting oneself under the control and dominance of another. It’s about mutual submission, people equally submitting to one another, not just husbands and wives, but all people.

My pastor put it this way, “You’ve begun to enter into mutual submission when you truly believe the others’ thoughts, feelings, opinions, ideas, needs, fears, anxieties, hopes, dreams are as important as yours are and you begin to behave accordingly. When you start doing that, you start breaking off each other’s bonds. We are not very good at breaking our own chains, but we are very good (when we want to be) at breaking off others’ chains. At encouraging, lifting up, unburdening, lightening the load…”

Wow! I feel like I could read that statement over and over. Anyone who has ever struggled in a relationship can probably see how not submitting to each other caused many problems. And anyone in a good relationship can probably see how when we truly deeply care for the needs, desires, fears, hopes and dreams of the other and treat them as if they are as important as our own, deep trust and love can happen.

I’ve experienced being in relationships that break off emotional and spiritual bonds. This kind of deep love, deep trust, and deep caring does break down my chains of mistrust, guilt and pain. And I don’t think those chains could come off any other way. I know – because I spent years trying to remove them myself!

I’ve also found that the love of God has removed many of my chains. When I understand the deep, deep love and respect between God and myself, I feel so free and unburdened. The image I love of Christ the most is the one of the humble servant. He spent his life healing people, meeting their needs, addressing their concerns, helping them with their problems. He taught them that the person who was the greatest among them was the one who was the servant of all. This image of Christ is so backwards from the concept of putting yourself first and caring for your own needs first… And definitely backwards from the idea of men sitting back smugly while the women around them submit to them.

Why do I submit myself to Christ? Because he is worth it. Because what he has to offer is something worth submitting myself to. Because he also submitted himself for me, even to the point of death. Submit myself to love? Definitely. Submit myself to wholeness? You betcha. Submit myself to the amazing transformation that comes from true, deep communion with the divine? Sign me up! Submit myself to those around me – to care for their hearts as much as I care for my own? It would be truly revolutionary!

I’ve been reading a book called “Finding God in the Questions: A Personal Journey” by Dr. Timothy Johnson. The title describes my life very well right now. For the last few years, I have been having a lot of questions about what I have been taught my whole life about God and other spiritual matters.

After watching the movie “2012” a few months ago, I started to think about the big flood described in the Bible. Did it really literally happen? If the whole world was flooded and everything died, what did the animals and people eat? Wouldn’t it take a lot of time to re-grow all the vegetation? How could a primitive boat survive that kind of conditions? These and many more are the kinds of questions I am now asking about the Bible and my faith and trying to find answers to.

I’ve had questions and doubts over the years, but never as seriously as recently. I don’t think I ever allowed myself to go there before. I was too afraid that my thoughts would lead me away from the truth. I was too afraid of how my changing ideas would change my life and my relationships with people. But I don’t have those fears anymore. And I think this process of questioning everything, seeking answers about who really wrote the Bible, what was going on around them at the time, what political and social influences might have biased what they wrote, has actually been drawing me closer to God.

I’ve been finding as Dr. Timothy Johnson writes in his book that “Doubt doesn’t have to tear down belief, however; it can purify it. When it does, the beliefs on the other side become more certain” (p. 15). By thoroughly examining what I believe about so many spiritual issues and why, I am able to make my spiritual walk my own.

I am discovering that I can approach God more in spirit, less in dogma. I don’t have to just find God in the “Holy Scriptures”, in sermons or in other people’s ideas. I can find God in the world around me, in people who may not even believe in him, in the beauty and magnificence of nature, in the sweet smile of my little niece, and in the joy of playing at the park with my dog. The Bible contains many stories of many other people’s experiences of God, but I am also free to have my own story. I am free to seek God myself and find him the way I find him. I am free to think for myself, ask him to reveal himself to me as he desires and come to whatever conclusions I come to.

All this questioning makes me so thankful for the Journey Center. I live in WA state and don’t get to be there in person very often, but when I am, I am deeply aware of how truly accepting, open, loving and freeing this place and the staff are. They accept me as I am, with all my doubts and questions and differences and love me just for me.

 Reference: Finding God in the Questions: A Personal Journey by Dr. Timothy Johnson. Dr. Timothy Johnson (M.D., M.P.H.) is the medical editor for ABC News and has reported on health-care issues for Good Morning America since 1975. He also provides on-air analysis of medical news for World News Tonight, Nightline and 20/20. (from the cover)